I believe I have come up with something revolutionary: logging from bed. (via my touch currently) I shall contract the words to give it a shorter name to help ease adoption and encourage common usage: blogging.
…
Blast!
william on April 10th 2009 in Uncategorized
So I was just writing a blog post complaining about names in fantasy novels. I was even making up my own names for a book that I would like to write if I ever had so much free time that I felt like writing a book. Problem is, my plan is to have all my characters have names that are just letters I randomly hit on my keyboard. I was typing examples and accidentally hit ctrl+w…that is not cool. I’m really good at losing my blog posts mid-completion.
I will continue with my original thought/post all from memory:
Fantasy names in novels are dumb. They have too many apostrophes and are too hard to pronounce. The author probably practices pronouncing the character names while looking in the mirror in their bathroom so as to find something that makes their mouth move in some super-awesome (translation: dumb) way.
In my novel, my characters would go something like: Aldsgq3og’3′lkd as the heroine squaring off against her new mortal enemy 433l””asljgaw’jgad’ljv Hrestgr<Windows Key>. Note the apostrophes, those are paramount. Also note how numbers are incorporated into the names. Unlike letters, numbers can’t be capitalized. Not sure where I was going with that…mainly it’s OK to have a number be the first character of a name. As you can also see, “<Windows Key>” is actually part of the antagonist’s name. That is because I hit the Windows Key as I was creating his name. Clever, eh?
I will further improve upon my awesome novel by making sure the characters change their names at least once in the story. Keep my readers on their toes. I would probably have 33l””asljgaw’jgad’ljv Hrestgr<Windows Key> (copied and pasted, had to) change his name to something including “<Left Meta>” because he just discovered Linux and wanted to make a keyboard shortcut to do something and <Windows Key> isn’t used. Yeah, that doesn’t really make sense to change a name to reflect one’s want to have a keyboard shortcut, but it’s my novel, so I can do whatever the hell I want.
Also, my novel will take place in the past/future. Yup, the past/future. It doesn’t make sense, does it? Well, neither does sound in space, but it is awesome, so it’s cool. Also, if you couldn’t tell, my novel would be a satire on other fantasy novels.
(Can I make an hr?)
I think I’m going to try and make my titles all lower case. Let’s see how much it messes with my bad grammar-thing tick.
william on April 10th 2009 in Idle Ramblings